it was like eating out sand paper
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
