were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
