He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think your dad took our porno
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
