If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
