I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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