Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
