Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
