Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
