Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
