tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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