I want to have your abortion
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
