Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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