I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize