Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
