Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
