Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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