This girl is more easily done than said...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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