I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
