it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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