she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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