Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
