im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
