I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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