With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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