She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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