Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
