How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
