Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
