i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
