Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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