I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
