NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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