I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
