I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
