Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
false alarm. still invincible.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
