you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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