i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
