Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
