yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
