"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize