so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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