I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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