hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
