I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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