also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
