I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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