I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
