Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
