I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
