literally had 100 drinks last night.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish i was in the wii world.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
