we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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