fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
