How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize