the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
