You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
