She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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