I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would fuck him just for his dog
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
