So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
