Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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