That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
