Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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