Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
