I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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