So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize