just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
