my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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