A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize